The dreaded boot

On Thursday, I finally saw the orthopaedic surgeon. Although I didn't necessarily want to hear bad news, I was a little relieved to finally know what was wrong. It seems I really made a mess out of my ankle. I've got a "high ankle sprain" (torn ligaments) and "bone contusion". Really, I have no idea what that actually means, I was more interested in the prognosis and treatment plan. What I did hear is that the injury is serious and I'd better be a good patient or this is going to take a very, very long time to heal, if at all. Here's the deal.

I get to wear a huge, ugly, heavy boot from toe to knee for a period of 8-12 weeks. The first two weeks I have to wear it 24 hours a day. If there's improvement, I MIGHT get to be in the pool to start rehab. After 3-4 weeks, I MIGHT get to add some time on the bike. If I'm an exceptional patient, I MIGHT get to add some running at 12 weeks. My thoughts?

I'm tired. Try sleeping with a boot that seems to weigh as much as me. I'm disappointed. Races were planned, running gear was bought in preparation for spring training. I'm sad because I miss the social aspect of running with friends. I'm afraid of starting completely over when I've lost fitness after three months off. I'm irrationally afraid that it won't heal right and I won't run again. I'm stressed, and my regular coping mechanism is on hold for three months. I'm irritable because there's no way to explain to a non-runner why this is such a big deal. I'm worried about not fitting into my clothes because I'll be in a depressive Milk Dud coma. I'm ashamed; I should be happy to be alive and healthy otherwise. I'm optimistic because I can use the time to build some upper body and core strength. Those are just some of the things I'm working through. Isn't blogging therapeutic?